HeLiUm BoNg 3


Do ya know what I hate? Thinking up introductions. Like "Oh! Hello! How are you? What have you been doing? Oh Really? That's great. Oh! By the way! Here's HB5! Jam-packed with opinions, news and fluffy leprechauns!" Type thing. Bloody annoying. I hate all of these warm welcomes, like

"Welcome to another issue of Helium Bong!"

Of course you could take the non-GN route and say "Congratulations! What you have in your hands is tested on animals".

So here I am with an original beginning, which is what I wanted in the first place. Course, Now I'm screwed for ideas in the next issue. Fuck that. Just when you thought that you'd have to be running between Eamonn Dorans, The Da Club, Charlies, etc. to go to half way decent gig, I'm screwed for ideas in the next issue. Fuck that.

it ends up that The Old Chinaman, home of Irish Punk is once again open for business, thank fuck. Although Jack has parted this mortal plane to retirement heaven, his middle finger waving portrait still smiles down on us. Skint & Runnin' Riot were the first bands to ring in the new era with Striknien, Dodgy Cunts (Deko said it, not me!), Steam Pig & some incredibly old blokes the week after. Fucking brilliant. Nice to see that they fixed the headhunter steps too. Too many pints spilled... I also heard that the Chinaman was in the news recently for having one of the cheapest pints in Ireland. Ya never know... maybe a couple of penniless tourists in search of a cheap Guinness might end up going home with a few safety pins and a mohawk. Fuck that'd be a sight.

The smell's still there, by the way.