HeliumBong#5

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WAX & ATTAX

You'll probably be all pleased to know that after 2 years, I've got my hair cut... The ponytail's been lopped off and replaced with a much more 'conservative' (?) polespiked "Hedgehog Bastard From Hell" version. (Thanks Dan!) Waking up with hair stuck up my nostrils and/or eyelids are now a mere memory. Now I wake up with my face stuck to the pillow due to the melted DAX WAX & hairspray that I punish my scalp with daily.

FUN FUN FUN!

Now everyone I walk past seem to think that they're the first to call me 'Spike' whenever I walk past them. They'd make a great living at standup.

I was talking to Snifty, AKA bloke off Planet Fish today, & he seemed kinda pissed off with me about the fact that I managed to slag off everyone he knew in a letter I sent him. I know I have a tendency to slag off people, most of the time it's to people I can't fucking stand, (I'd give examples, but I'd hate to be libellous), but sometimes I manage to rip the piss out of people I hardly know, and sometimes aren't even acquainted with, for example, I'm always slagging off Derek Nation, but that's mostly because I don't agree with most of his opinions (But hey, fuck all people agree with mine, so that's a bit of a dead end I've just run myself into) & not because he's a prick (I don't know him really, apart from a few letters pointing out that I'm not thinking out my articles properly).

It probably stems from my modem/computer-head days. Ah yes. Some guy called Kachun, (AKA Blokey, Sydney Philips, Uncle Lollypop & Pedophile Jim) & I would hang around the C.L. Bulletin Board and have these competitions on who could slag the most people in the shortest amount of time in the messages. He won. Thank fuck he didn't bring out a zine! Anyway. There you go. I slag people. I put my heart & soul into it. I'm a prick. I'll put it down to an insecurity complex. What more can I say? Sorry to all of the people I slagged if they didn't do much to deserve it, but a big snot encrusted middle finger goes to all of the people I slagged who deserved it or pissed me off in one way or another.