HeLiUm BoNg 3


Does anyone remember the much talked about "Do you want me to wrap this around my penis?" comment I put beside Aidan's greeting last month? Well fuck that whole bit I wrote about slagging people, this was hilarious.

It was during the infamous German school trip we went on, and Aidan and some other guy were on a bus. Not many people could understand English there, let alone our Irish accents. Anyway, when Aidan got on the a bus, his bag fell and some old woman picked it up for him and said something in German, to which Aidan replied "Thanks. Hey! You've got saggy knockers. HA! They hang around your knees!" etc. Anyway, he kept slagging her to her face, and she just smiled and nodded throughout. When it came to the last stop, they all got off the bus, and the woman tapped Aidan on the shoulder, handed him a bracelet and said in German "You speak such beautiful French", before heading off in the opposite direction. Aidan shouted at her in English "What do you want me to do with this? Wrap it around my penis?". She stopped, turned back and looked absolutely horrified. He forgot that 'penis' is the same word in German. *sigh* The amount of times I chuckled to myself on the bus thinking about that one. Stay Concerned!


Emma, Pierce (Burnt! Right down to the fucking GROUND!), Danny, Audrey, Sandy, Alan, Donal (SWITZERLAND?!?), Lyncher, Kate's Punk Badge, Orla the Job Seeker, Ross, Bennie, Jenny, Graham, Deko, Shane, Chris, Aidan, El Matty, Graham, Mr. Flop, Beck, Damien C., Colin's Chin-Protecting Bat, The Psycho Dolphin & The Leatherclad Urinal, Damo Fish, Dave Negation, Glenn, Thomas, Cooper, Jocelyn, Eva, everyone I forgot, & to all of those people who are still pissed off with Zig & Zag for leaving the Den & opting for tacky British Breakfast TV.

This month, Dan said "Ever go into Marley Park? Well, you know those big yellow boot things with slides and blue windows? THEY SMELL LIKE PISS!" More warblings next issue. Can't wait for that one.