GO FREAKS GO!
Anyway, what I wanted to say was that in GFG, there was THE most ridiculous,
pompous, ignorant & (unintentionally) fuckin hilarious little
article I've ever read in my life. Wrote by Andrew Bushe of Sonic
Birth fame, the article goes on to tell all of us that drinking and
drugs are for 'boring' people. Now I can honestly say that I've
never
met a drunk boring person. They'd be at the most, annoying, but never
boring.
Boring people sit at home and stare at walls trying to make
out images of faces in the little wood chips. Boring people are the
ones who give a nervous smile & start sweating when you strike up
a conversation. Boring people talk slowly... in... a... monotone...
voice... about... Star... Trek...
Not only that, but he also has a little game for us to play. Take
it away Andrew!
"Here's the test, go and find two of your friends,
one a druggy, one straight edge, and ask them what they've done this
year"
Righto. I conducted my own little survey with those rules. I
took Donal, my cousin and one of the few blokes I know who can chug
a quarter bottle of whiskey for the past few years and only getting
sick once, and I took Chris, a bloke I know with long hair and who
doesn't drink, or do drugs. Their responses included:
Donal: "I got my nipple pierced on Saturday. I've quit work so I could
study for my GCSEs, I go out most weekends with my mates & I went
on holiday to France over the summer."
Bit of a shit survey, but hey! I was curious. Anyway... Andrew's version
of what *should* have been said is:
Donal: "I have had a great time over the past year on all of those
destructive drugs & countless cans of alcohol that kill oh so many
of my brain cells."
Do the profiles match? Nope. Chris doesn't need to drink. He's weird
and hyper enough as it is already, and Donal received an A in higher
maths in his GCSEs. I wonder what happened to all of those dead brain
cells.
Poor wee Andrew also tells us of the desperate measure's he'll take
should he contract cancer through passive smoking. "I will take alot
of you fuckers down with me - no, really. Picture it..... You're all
in THE ATTIC listening to
BAMBI and I stroll in casually and start
shooting all the people with cigarettes in their hands" Fuck killing
Brain Cells... let's kill the smokers!"
I don't smoke, for the plain reason that I couldn't be fucked shelling
out so much money that I could spend on drink or photocopying for
something I'll become physically addicted to, and not because I'm
on the same search for knowledge that Andrew is. I don't see drink
as a life waster, more of a life enhancer. It makes you alot more
sociable, taken in decent amounts. I mean, chugging 10 cans in 5 mins.
is fucking stupid, but getting nicely pissed, having a few laughs
and chatting up 5 girls at the same time (Another Flashback from Germany)
can't be bad. Ever notice that really shite jokes seem fucking hilarious
after a few pints? And how about that really dodgy fat one you got off with who reminded
you of that Brazilian footballer. After a few pints,
she's suddenly Cindy Crawford. HOW? She still looks the same, but
has a certain "I AM A RIDE" quality wafting from her bushy armpits.
Alcohol. Fuckin weird stuff.
As the great Andrew Bushe once said "I think I'm losing my point".
He most certainly DID.
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