HeLiUm BoNg 3


"The Performance of Eradication Concerning the Profligate Concession of the Syndicated Weapons of Pedestrians"

Greetings, fellow believer. We now openly welcome you to our elite group R.E.E.-B.O.K.™, an amalgamation of the internationally feared R.E.E.® & B.O.K.©. As you have most likely read the report we handed in to the boycott bible "HeLiUm BonG", you must almost certainly know & sympathise with our objectives.

Too many lives have been wasted, & in some cases destroyed, making shoes. After 16 years of accumulating the relevant information for our case we have decided to take direct action against the shoe wearing enforcers of capitalism. Their blood shall spill the pedestrian walk ways of our cities. Our tears of anger shall drown the corrupt soldiers of "Foot Luxury". Images of our soldiers standing victorious over the fallen consumers shall become commonplace. Their gurgling screams of pain will pollute the media & allow our voice, in turn, to be heard.

Our sister groups ETA, IRA, ALF and RTÉ have aided us on our conquest to rid the world of the scourge of footwear by donating arms, antipersonnel mines & the all important Nuclear Bomb. We hope to aim our nuclear arsenal towards Taiwan in order to put the workers out of their misery & to bring about the downfall of the Worldwide Footwear Market.

Here in Ireland, our main targets are: Champion Sports, Marathon Sports, Sneaker Stadium, The Black Boot & those tacky stalls outside the Ilac Centre with old women attempting to sell you their foul goods. There are, of course many other establishments worthy of a bloody end, but these targets are vital ones. Once we bring about the end of these, the smaller, less significant ones shall follow.

We hope that you carry out our orders with EXTREME prejudice using peaceful means only if ABSOLUTELY NECCESARY.

Brothers & Sisters! It's time to MOVE! It's time to start making a little noise out there! I want to see some revolution out there! Stay Barefoot,


Directing Manager & Strategic Executive of R.E.E.-B.O.K.™ operations

A 'Resent Everyone & Everything® - Boycott Obsessed Kids©' Production

Every time I go into town, they're there. I can't stand at a traffic light these days without them standing beside me. If I check my pockets to see if I have a spare 50p for a can of Coke, they're there. What am I talking about? Those bloody women who toddle over to you and shove a piece of paper in your face with "Im frome Bosnia. Ive little money and meny childs. Halp me plese" inscribed with a Parker Fountain Pen. I read as far as "Im frome Bosnia" and then shake my head indicating that either:
A) I couldn't be arsed handing over my hard earned money
B) I can't read


C) Im also frome Bosnia and also have meny childs and little money.
As I look up, the gold that's lacing her teeth glimmers and sparkles in the light. Noticing that by her clothes, she hardly looks as if she's roughing it on the streets, I was puzzled on how she could afford such items without sleeping with a newly appointed politician or at least tripping up and landing face down on a gold bullion, I decide that she's not what she claims to be - Poor

Before I leave, a spherical shaped bloke clad in X-Worx, an unwashed Benetton top and a pair of Air Max clutches his empty Burger King cup and hands me a similar note. I look up in disbelief to see him slurping on a Solero and taking a look at his Swatch. Hmm... This bloke is obviously better off than me. Here I am in a pair of dirty combats, a T-Shirt and a flannel Shirt, with my hand scooping around my pocket to look for enough for a can of coke pockets for bus fare, and here's a bloke who can afford better clothes, an Ice-Pop that costs the best part of a quid and a half decent watch and he's asking me for money? Christ.

I mean, when you see those fake beggars with their delicate shawls and gold teeth having a lunch break in Burger King and then look at the people who genuinely need the money like the poor sod who hangs around outside Mac Fans on Lower Stephen's Street trying to get enough for a cup of tea, you really want to grab those tossers by the flip flops and bash them around until you have enough gold smacked out of their gobs to give to people who need it. Oh, and just in case you're wondering, this isn't some attack on the refugees, I'm just expressing how I feel about the "Professional Beggars". I'm not your typical aryan, y'know.

So here we are at the end of HB6 and it's only a few months late too! It's really annoying. At the time of writing (22nd June) I've got HB7 half finished, and I've had this issue finished for the past two months. Having no money is a big problem. Anyhow.. If you have a few quid to spare, check out The Chemical Brothers' new album. My girlfriend Emma bought it for me. Wasn't that nice? Check out Puget Sound on Saturday with Striknien DC this Saturday (28th) Check the posters going up round Freebird & Tower... Oh, and a word to all the wannabe revolutionaries... Stop farting about and Hurry UP! Stop preaching about revolution and pick up a gun! We're dying for some entertainment here! Power to the People, man!

Alroi... A big shout goes out to all da possee : Emma (Magwee, Sparkler, WM, H&R!), Pierce, Donal, Bek, Humphry, Tiger, Hazel, Aidan, Glenn, Lyncher, Andy, Dave, Thomas, Shane, Everyone I met at Radiohead, Puget Sound, C-4, Rigid Eruptions, Planet Fish, everyone who thought I'd given up doing HB, & are now disappointed and everyone who doesn't hate me - and to all of the zines who preach about freedom of speech & then bitch when I say what I want in HeLiUm BonG - SWIVEL ON A PINEAPPLE YIS WHINING LITTLE FUCKS!